bestest joke?
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20 Dec 2007, 16:32
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Journals
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
alright so our act goes something like this:
i come out dressed as a surgeon along with my wife dressed as a nurse dragging a stretcher.
suddenly a waltz starts playing and the lighting focuses on my daughter who walks on stage wearing only a hospital gown leaving her entire naked behind exposed. she's 14 so she's hot, but still unexperienced.
she proceeds to get on all fours on top of the stretcher sticking her ass out whose hole is a tiny dot.
i slip a latex glove on then tightly close my fist as tense as possible. i've been doing many grip exercises to ensure it's solid as steel.
i begin fisting her. which is a tough task i have to push extra hard at first so blood starts streaming off her rim as i further push in. the crowd will be amused by her shrieks which are loud but still as you'd say "cute"
once my entire fist is inside her anal cavity, it gets stuck. i begin doing jerking motions with my entire arm which create more blood to gush. some maroon fluid begins to ooze down the bottom of her asshole. of course that's a mixture of the shit and blood which beautifully ends bathing her tight pussy.
then i manage to press my free hand against one of her buttocks while i put both feet on the side of the stretcher and push out freeing my fisting hand.
the entire stretcher is a mess as my daughter's new asshole which is about seven times it's original size starts spraying diarrhea and blood.
my wife whose now covered in shit and blood from head to toe starts licking the mess from the stretcher while i proceed to fist my daughter's pussy with the same glove i used to work her ass.
again blood starts gushing from the broken cavities. so after she cums, i take the latex glove, now covered in shit, blood, pussy juices, and cum, and roll it into a nice ball and force my daughter which by now is virtually spent to swallow it which is too much for her gag reflexes and ends up vomiting all over the stretcher.
finally, my son comes out. you should see junior he's this cute 6 year old, who looks just like me. anyways, he brings out this bag filled with a laxatives.
my son and wife begin eating laxatives and of course we shove some Preparation H up my daughter's ass which is so open by now that they go in smoothly.
about 5 mins later, i consume my share of laxatives, remove my pants and squat on top of my daughter's ass. i begin reciting the Hippocratic Oath and midway thru my wife and son start showering each other with shit.
just as i'm done, this mud stream flows out my ass and into my daughter's hole. which then erupts like a fucking yellowstone geyser spraying both my share of shit and hers high above.
and that's about it.
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
alright so our act goes something like this:
i come out dressed as a surgeon along with my wife dressed as a nurse dragging a stretcher.
suddenly a waltz starts playing and the lighting focuses on my daughter who walks on stage wearing only a hospital gown leaving her entire naked behind exposed. she's 14 so she's hot, but still unexperienced.
she proceeds to get on all fours on top of the stretcher sticking her ass out whose hole is a tiny dot.
i slip a latex glove on then tightly close my fist as tense as possible. i've been doing many grip exercises to ensure it's solid as steel.
i begin fisting her. which is a tough task i have to push extra hard at first so blood starts streaming off her rim as i further push in. the crowd will be amused by her shrieks which are loud but still as you'd say "cute"
once my entire fist is inside her anal cavity, it gets stuck. i begin doing jerking motions with my entire arm which create more blood to gush. some maroon fluid begins to ooze down the bottom of her asshole. of course that's a mixture of the shit and blood which beautifully ends bathing her tight pussy.
then i manage to press my free hand against one of her buttocks while i put both feet on the side of the stretcher and push out freeing my fisting hand.
the entire stretcher is a mess as my daughter's new asshole which is about seven times it's original size starts spraying diarrhea and blood.
my wife whose now covered in shit and blood from head to toe starts licking the mess from the stretcher while i proceed to fist my daughter's pussy with the same glove i used to work her ass.
again blood starts gushing from the broken cavities. so after she cums, i take the latex glove, now covered in shit, blood, pussy juices, and cum, and roll it into a nice ball and force my daughter which by now is virtually spent to swallow it which is too much for her gag reflexes and ends up vomiting all over the stretcher.
finally, my son comes out. you should see junior he's this cute 6 year old, who looks just like me. anyways, he brings out this bag filled with a laxatives.
my son and wife begin eating laxatives and of course we shove some Preparation H up my daughter's ass which is so open by now that they go in smoothly.
about 5 mins later, i consume my share of laxatives, remove my pants and squat on top of my daughter's ass. i begin reciting the Hippocratic Oath and midway thru my wife and son start showering each other with shit.
just as i'm done, this mud stream flows out my ass and into my daughter's hole. which then erupts like a fucking yellowstone geyser spraying both my share of shit and hers high above.
and that's about it.
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"
*edit* now beasty wrote one :)
this one is more detailed.